Mike’s parents visiting was really great. We all had such a wonderful time and Mike’s parents got to see him and the new house (even though we have been in it over a year it still feels new). We did Portlandy things. We tried some great restaurants, went to the big Farmers’ Market over at Portland State, and saw Live Wire at the Alberta Rose theatre. We cooked and his dad helped us with weeding. Mike’s mom also picked out some of the glass beads Mike made and we trekked to the local bead store and she bought supplies, brought them home and made a really beautiful bracelet out of them which was beyond flattering and very sweet.
Overhanging the visit, however, was the need to check in with work and manage some time sensitive things. One of which I made a mistake on. Most people handle mistakes with grace, and outwardly I am handling it that way. But my stress levels shot up and internally I am pretty upset. Mike reminded me that I am currently trying to do the work of three people and I should go easy on myself. This is true. I can also remind myself that I originally wrote out a time-line that allowed for my former staff person’s replacement to be intact and trained by her before she left, and that through no fault of mine the time-line was not adhered to. I can also honestly say that trying to work remotely on the types of projects I am working on is not easy given the rather poor quality of the remote systems. It doesn’t really help me feel better though. Why is it that we are so hard on ourselves? I rarely make mistakes and these are weird circumstances, but still I can’t seem to let it go.
I spent the morning fixing it all and have to log back in later today to finish up one more project.
We finally saw Mike’s parents off at the airport and I am doing little things around the house – laundering sheets and towels, loading the dishwasher, snuggling my pup Emma (Serena is on a sleep-over at her other mom’s house), circling the idea of going in my studio to do some preliminary sketches for a painting I am loosely planning, and popping ibuprofen for those vicious cramps that love to present themselves every month.
Tomorrow I have one last vacation day and I have plans to visit with friends in Washington. I feel some guilt for not going back to work when we are so short staffed and busy, but I also know one day won’t make a difference in terms of the work-load and it will make a huge difference in my physical, emotional, and mental health. Guilt is indeed my personal plague. I have to wonder if it is a personal issue I would have struggled with even without the catechism classes I had as a child and young adult, or if I can lay the blame firmly at their feet…
Oh, and the picture at the top of this entry is my first ever fused glass plate, which is how I kicked off my vacation the evening before Mike’s parents flew in. Not bad for a two and a half hour class (90 minutes of instruction, and 60 minutes of constructing the plate itself).