The Black Plague – or – My Week in The Bathroom

I’ve been ill. I’m not talking run of the mill flu – which I had the week before thank you very much. I’m talking about break out in a sweat and don’t stray far from the bathroom ill. And today it is going on four days. Some improvements in the last day: I am no longer running a fever; I am no longer thoroughly nauseated right after eating food; my kidneys haven’t shut down yet; and I no longer have to take pain meds religiously every four hours to manage the pain from someone beating me with a crowbar in my sleep. Some downsides: no improvement in spending less time in the bathroom; a massive sinus headache; and an intense wish that the makers of the tissues “Puffs Plus with Lotion” would start manufacturing toilet paper.

I’ve been managing to work until about 2pm each day and then I go home and crash. A coworker recommended taking this super probiotic called Bio-K because it helped someone else she knows who recently also had the Black Plague (The Crap Plague? Have I coined a phrase?) and it helped her. So I shelled out twenty-six bucks for a six-day dose and I am currently pinning all of my hopes on it.

In between trips to the bathroom I managed to at least have a little fun and carved a pumpkin with Mike and our friend Michelle V. That was about the only light this week. Well, that and having a wonderful boyfriend who is being sweet to me and at least making me laugh about my situation.


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