Author Archives: sjv

Weekend

It wasn’t an exciting weekend. It was productive, although not the most productive weekend I’ve ever had, but not exciting. At all.

I cleaned the downstairs portion of our house. This was a bigger event than you would imagine since I really haven’t cleaned in about three weeks. For normal people this wouldn’t render the house as gross as ours was, but we have a dirt yard and two dogs so it was quite intense. Like most people I hate cleaning, but I absolutely love having a clean house. I leave the vacuuming for the very end and in the middle of dragging the ridiculously heavy thing all over our house I begin swearing out loud about anything and everything. The dogs pretty much hide while all of this is going on of course; Emma because she is afraid of the vacuum and Serena because it interferes with her napping. I’m also clearly a lunatic so they leave me to it.

Besides the cleaning I managed to finish a small painting I have been sporadically working on for the past 6 weeks. It isn’t a six week kind of painting I was just really slow working on it. It isn’t earth shattering work, but it is interesting and the colors are luminous and I’m feeling pretty content with not only the work itself but with having actually painted something. (I’m so sorry for the horrendously bad photograph – I’d like to tell you that over the next few days I will replace it with a better one, but I’m 99% sure I’m going to be lazy about it so don’t count on it.*)

Other than that I had a shade too much free time and really started thinking about what I am accomplishing in life. I’ve been frustrated lately with feeling like I’m not really doing anything beyond going through the mundane motions of day to day living. I usually have one big long-term goal I’m working towards, but right now I just have a series of small projects going on. This feeling of discontent is good in that it will at least motivate me to keep digging inside of myself to ferret out what that next step in life will be.

In the meantime we are harvesting the last of our tomatoes (there are more than we are prepared for so I have been giving them away to friends and colleagues), and with the cooler weather I am getting excited about cooking again.

Mike’s parent’s are planning to visit this week and we are looking forward to it, but the visit is pending the looming threat of an Air Canada strike. We are keeping our fingers crossed.

*I can promise I will put more of my art work up on here at some point. I recently backed up some old photos on my little G4 laptop and grouped together some photos of my paintings and books so it is a matter of choosing what to put up and then finding the time to post them. Not too big of a project so it shouldn’t take tons of time.

Fall [not] in New England

Fall weather really hit hard and fast here in Portland, OR. One day it was 90 degrees and the next it was 65, overcast, and cool. Even a hint of cool weather can render me freezing. Last night I said to Mike, “Fall is here, honey. You know what that means! Constant complaining about being cold.” Lucky him, eh? This year I will try to curb it for his sake, but no promises. I really get cold.

Today marks the day I am no longer in denial about summer being over. For the first time since summer hit I put on shoes that were not sandals. It is a very sad day. What helps though, is that I am wearing my new back to school loafers and I am loving them. So if my little feet have to be all closed up in shoes at least they are super cute (and bonus: comfortable) ones.

My garden is starting to look a bit shabby. Pumpkin plants, when they are harvest ready as mine are now, look sparse and dry. The zucchini plants are about done and a similar thing is happening to them. The artichokes this year got aphids so I just let them flower and they are finally starting to wither as well. The tomato plants are still yielding fruit, but it seems like more tomatoes are starting to soften on the vines than not by the time I get out there to check on them. The wildflowers are trying to hang on, but are looking a bit ragged as well. The grapevine, acorn squash, buttercup squash, fennel, figs, and onions are all going strong.

I’m starting to think about really cooking again. Things like stews, roasted chicken, bread, and beans in the crock pot. It is also cool enough to clean my house and look forward to a candlelight, home cooked meal, and then a snuggle on the couch in front of the fire with my sweetie. And while I will miss not having it rain nearly every day for nine months, I am looking forward to the fall season which, having grown up in Massachusetts, is absolutely my favorite season.

I do everything I can to celebrate and usher in the fall season in an attempt to recreate the fall of my youth. There is really nothing like the crisp air, the apple picking, the hot toddies, the thick Irish knit sweaters, the cold nose, the warm mittens, the food, the farm stands, the bare trees exposing everything and giving a hint of the snow to come, the peace, and the beauty that is fall in New England.

This year in Portland we will be doing things like carving our own pumpkins with friends for Halloween – complete with a home cooked meal, some kind of mulled cider, and spice cake or cookies or apple pie (or maybe all three!). We will of course be having both Canadian Thanksgiving and American Thanksgiving. And I will at some point take a drive south to wine country and visit my favorite nursery which has a small grove of trees in the valley whose leaves turn red and orange before they drop. There will also be lots of cooking. I’ll have to cram it all in before the rains come, but rest assured I will get my hit of the kind of fall season I miss and crave.

Who Says You Can’t Wear It [Again]

Over the years I have found myself struggling more and more to get dressed and be satisfied, and comfortable, with what I put on to face my day. If I try to deviate from my “uniform” at all (i.e. those 1-3 outfits you throw on without thinking about it and without looking too hard in the mirror) then my bedroom looks like a tornado hit it. Inevitably I try on nearly everything I own…and then walk out either in the same damned uniform, or in something uncomfortable that I end up yanking on all day. I’ve also, like a lot of women, put on some weight over the years and I was just flat out sick of waiting for that day I’d be the perfect size 8/10 again. The problem is, it had been so long since I really even thought about fashion that I had no clue how my own personal style might have evolved.

The first thing I did was look for a some help online. But guess what? Females in their forties are this weirdly forgotten group of people when it comes to fashion. Oh, there are magazines and articles out there that supposedly address – and dress -the forty+ set, but really all I’ve found are articles on what I am no longer allowed to wear, which is ridiculous, and fashion spreads that show me clothing that is so boring I’d rather stick to my tired old uniform.

In frustration I decided to switch tactics and look for a fashion icon instead; just one woman in my age range whose personal style I admired.  It was a lot harder than I thought it would be. After a lot of digging the person I settled on was the French model Ines de La Fressange. You can’t know how ironic this is because I was a teenager when she became the face of Chanel and I remember being disappointed with how rail thin she was. She is still rather thin, but she does indeed have some great personal style and is even eleven years older than me so I think hers is the kind of style I can emulate for quite some time. I even went so far as to purchase her book.

In the end it isn’t so much about actual clothing choices, it is about attitude and a careful carelessness. Putting together classic pieces with a personal touch added and always, always, always, being comfortable – both in your skin and in your clothes.

Finally I decided I needed to start getting a handle on my own style preferences without all the external “help” from magazines and web articles. A website that helped me define my style was Polyvore. It is really just a place to gather the things you like and put them together on a “board.” My style quickly began to emerge, and the nice thing about it is that when certain pieces start popping up across sets you get an idea of wardrobe staples.

Turns out my style is rather classic and simple. Some of the pieces I put together for myself on Polyvore are pricey, but I know I can duplicate these looks with more inexpensive brands if need be. And guess what? I like these looks so much more than any I’ve seen in magazine spreads I’ve come across to date. If you want to take a look at my personal style on Polyvore click here.

Yesterday I did some fall shopping and I decided to buy a pair of shoes I used to wear in high school; the classic black loafer.

Bass, black, tasseled Weejuns to be exact.

They remind me of back to school shopping back in the day. My sister and I would always hit a Bass outlet store in Kennebunk, Maine and get our new pair of loafers for the coming school year (usually the classic burgundy penny loafer). When I left the store I snapped a picture of my new Weejuns and sent it to my sister who is now online shopping for a pair herself. So out the window goes that old saying that if you wore a style when you were a kid, if it comes back around you can’t wear it again. Who the hell makes up these rules anyway? Idiots. Some things never go out of style and as long as I don’t wear it with a pair of elastic waist jeans I should be good to go.

Along with the Weejuns, I bought a couple of other fall staples – a classic black cardigan, and an army green cotton jacket. These things should carry me through the cool weather we will hopefully be experiencing soon.

I also picked up a cute accessory. An adorable, and inexpensive ($22.00) watch locket, which is just the kind of classic, but interesting and unique, accessory that can really make a simple outfit more interesting. And you can’t go wrong when it is only twenty-two bucks!

Why I Will Never Be Heroin Addict – or – How I Paid for a Couch in Blood.

I’m not a heroin addict – and indeed have never tried using it – and it is not due to the obvious reasons (ex. it is stupid). It’s because I am horrendously afraid of needles.

I’m sure from time to time I may talk about my insane hypothyroidism. I may even discuss my general phobia of medical procedures – and regular appointments fall under that category – and my overall wussiness when it comes to doctor appointments. How back pain sucks, etc. etc. etc. However, the Mac Daddy of all my issues, is a fear of needles.

I mention this as I ride the unmedicated high of having just gotten a blood test. Yep. That’s right. I just went and got a blood test, on the fly, without medication. I am a badass.

I’ll tell you that this is a very frustrating phobia. It prevents me from getting acupuncture, which I heartily endorse from having seen how much it helps loved ones (and this includes my dog – which is a whole other post for another day). It makes me wait way too long to go to the dentist. And it makes me very frustrated with every one around me who just doesn’t get it. All of my life I have been asked, “What about it actually bothers you?” My answer is usually, “Why doesn’t it bother you [you moron/idiot/condescending jackass]?”

I really can’t conceive of anyone being comfortable with having a metal rod stuck in their vein. I have a high pain threshold. I’ve put my hand inside wounds on a pet that was clear down to the bone. I’m amazingly cool under pressure and super-fantastic in a crisis – which includes people around me having medical emergencies themselves. But come towards me with a needle and I’m more than likely not going to handle it well. A couple of truly bad experiences (inept people who prodded for a vein way too long, poked my arm twice with no results, then discussed in front of me going in through the hand which prompted me to get up and get the hell out of there) pushed me into the realm of needing anti-anxiety drugs to even consider getting blood drawn. This complicates the issue even more since then you have to enlist someone to actually drive you to your appointment like a child, and then have to take an entire day off from work. So it is a huge relief to me that I am back to taking a test without drugs. The key seems to be the last minute-ness of it and not having enough time to panic. Maybe. Also, the phlebotomist at the place I am currently going to is very good.

Anyway, I have yet another appointment with my endocrinologist to check on my thyroid at the end of this week. Yawn. I’m not in a good place right now thinking about how I have never been fully well since being diagnosed with hypothyroidism when I was 26 (yep, that is 17 years of fun with the thyroid gland). I’ve kind of given up on it improving and am just trying to be happy with things the way they stand health wise (I’m trying). The appointment is really just to keep me in drugs so that things don’t get worse. The thing is that there is no getting out of the blood test come appointment time. I have already rescheduled this appointment once and was considering doing it again. But then I just got it together and went for the test in an all-fired, last-minute rush today. This, I confess, was due to the work of my very crafty partner Mike.

We’ve been shopping for a couch as part of my studio revamp project. I found a couch I liked, but it was much more expensive than I felt comfortable with. So I offered to split the cost of the couch with him, and I would pay my half off to him in installments (guilt!). His counter offer was for him to pay for the whole thing if I would go get a blood test. So. That is how I paid for a couch in blood. What a whore. But wait till you see my couch! 3-4 weeks.

Strengths (?) Finder 2.0

My partner Mike had a team building event at his workplace where his team all took the “Strengths Finder 2.0” test. He said it really helped him/them and he suggested I take the test too. I was more curious how he and I compared in our “top 5” but also thought it might help me understand how I might boost my enthusiasm/productivity for my current job.

The test is based on a concept of working within our own strengths, rather than wasting time on trying to become proficient in areas that are deemed weaknesses. It is indeed an interesting concept; one I was not willing to shell out $25 dollars for I’m afraid. Mike purchased the book for me because I was too cheap. So I took the test.

I was weirdly…disappointed?..in my results. They all seemed so uninteresting and to be absolutely honest I felt like they were… well…kind of pretentious and obnoxious. Wow.  That felt good. Confession. You can take the girl out of the catholic church but you can’t take the guilt and persecution out of the girl.

So here they are:

  1. Strategic: “People who are especially talented in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.” (My take: I can tell you what to do, but can’t do it myself.)
  2. Ideation: “People who are especially talented in the Ideation theme are fascinated by ideas. They are able to find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena.” (My take: ooh, look at the bird!)
  3. Intellection: “People who are especially talented in the Intellection theme are characterized by their intellectual activity. They are introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions.” (My take: all talk, no action and me, me, me, me!)
  4. Relator: “People who are especially talented in the Relator theme enjoy close relationships with others. They find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal.” (My take: you need too much external approval.)
  5. Empathy: “People who are especially talented in the Empathy theme can sense the feelings of other people by imagining themselves in others’ lives or others’ situations.” (My take: the person who secretly cries in the bathroom at work.)

Refer to: http://www.strengthsfinder.com/home.aspx for the real information and for photo credit. The snarky “My takes:”s are courtesy of me and are meant to be funny not offensive. Mike and I share some traits and he will totally get my humour here (I’m even spelling that Canadian and I’d like points please).

I had an initial recoil reading through this stuff. I remember being in my very early twenties and being put through all kinds of management classes in the corporate arena. There were so many “insightful” tests which were supposed to tell you who you were, what you were good at, and whether or not you were being utilized correctly in your team or management role. This system seems very similar.

Once you get your Top 5 you then read through a more involved description. After each description they ask you to highlight the phrases or sections that stand out to you. Then you are supposed to indicate what you most want people to see in, or recognize about, you. I actually found that pretty insightful. Those two things do not always match up and maybe that is a good way of getting in touch with what you value in…well, in life I guess.

Then the wonky part; they give you some action steps. Some of them are just a little over simplified. For example, one action item instructs, “Seek a career in which you will be given credit for and paid for your ideas, such as marketing, journalism, design, or new product development.” I mean, does anyone see the big giant problem with this? I’m not even sure I have the energy to articulate it.

All of that aside, it is interesting – and slightly, narcissistically, embarrassing – information to have. I’m just not sure what to do with it. It might end up in a drawer somewhere. Too Me-centric to throw out, but too Me-centric to wave around (the irony of writing about this is not lost on me). It got me thinking though. And I am going to try to do something productive with it. I hope.

“For Your Age” & Update on the Studio Makeover Project

Last year I had a very significant rite of passage when I visited a specialist for the back pain I have experienced off and on since I have been thirteen (yes, thirteen not thirty). When we looked at pictures of my spine the doctor started off pointing out the areas with problems and then said, “For your age…” and then I really can’t tell you what the heck he said right after that. It is interesting how age creeps up on us. Aside from the physical limitations I’m pretty okay with growing older. However, every time I have a back flare-up I hear that doctor’s voice in my head. The reality of the body breaking down is sometimes a bitter pill. What do you mean I can’t lift heavy furniture anymore?! I’m in the middle of a studio makeover in my house and I just want to get it done!

On Thursday of last week Mike and I and our friend MV went to Ikea to pick up some of the furniture I decided to put in my studio. I barely did any of the lifting but still managed to tweak my back slightly. Then when I got home I decided to straighten out the bedclothes before getting into it and whatever slight movement I made threw things out of whack.

I have a pretty high pain threshold so it didn’t entirely slow me down and on Saturday I still went ahead and began cleaning out my studio, shoving tables and bookcases around, then building the giant wood puzzles (a.k.a. Ikea furniture) to go in the room. I was pretty sore, but was still functioning. Then on Monday I went to work and after sitting in a torture device an office chair for two measly hours I had to go home and was flat on my back with a heating pad for two straight days which was useless and boring and it isn’t any better.  So back to the office chair; it beats being bored.

The studio is coming along a lot more slowly than I want it to. I originally planned to have a day bed in there, but once it was in it dominated the room way too much and so I’m going to put a couch in there instead. I’ve been on the hunt for a couch now since Sunday and I am no closer to making a decision. I found this lovely item from Dania Furniture:

So far this is the front runner, but I am slightly concerned it might be a little big for the space. Mike was great and helped me tape off the floor in the studio to the dimension of the couch to get a sense of the scale, but I am still undecided.

I did take some photos of the room for the “during”  aspect of things. It is so chaotic that I almost want to post them now. But the end result of this makeover will be an organized, streamlined, zen-like room and I think I’ll post all of the photos at the end for more of a a drastic-contrast effect. So stay tuned!

Wow this is hard to write.

As I start this website up (I’m resisting calling it a blog for various reasons) I am 43 years old. It is August 2011. As the years go by you can do the math and come up with my current age. I’m not shy about stating my age. It’s a badge of honor in my opinion.

I am partnered up with a very lovely man named Mike who is originally from Milton, Ontario, Canada. He is a self-described corporate hippie. I confess I don’t understand the term. I think it means he embraces anti-establishment tendencies, is a raging liberal, and is against The Man, but holds a steady job with health benefits. We met online. One of the first questions I asked him was, “You don’t smell like patchouli do you?” I mean, gross. (He doesn’t by the way. He swears by lavender oil to keep mosquitos away in the summer so for the 4 weeks of summer weather we get here in Portland he might smell off and on like lavender, which I can totally handle. Patchouli is a deal breaker.) We live in an old farmhouse (circa 1895) in Southeast Portland, OR with two dogs – an Australian Cattle Dog named Emma and a Samoyed named Serena. We have a yard that is proving to be a lot of work. My feelings on the yard change daily from, “this is awesome” to “this sucks.” The growing food part and room for the dogs is awesome, the upkeep and weeding is the sucky part.

I grew up in Boston area Massachusetts. It was formative and, after living in many different regions of the United States, I can honestly say I am pretty happy that is where I grew up (probably a lot of people feel this way about the place they grew up). You can’t beat four real seasons, music, the arts, and a very healthy respect for intellect in those formative years. I still love the city even though I now live aaaaaaall the way over on the other side of the country in Portland, OR. My accent is very slight. Most people don’t hear it, but every once in a while I pronounce the word idea as idear (wince).

Some places I have lived (and I enjoyed them all): Reading, MA; Boston, MA; Providence, RI; Arlington, MA; Houston, TX, Charlotte, NC; San Francisco, CA; brief stint in Austin, TX that I’m not sure I should even mention; and Portland, OR.

I worked for over 10 years running operational teams for financial service Fortune 100 and Fortune 500 organizations. While it made me aware of what I was made of it eventually sucked the soul out of me and I made a change. Since 2001 I have been working in higher education administration and it is an environment I can get behind.

I have a Master of Fine Arts degree in Visual Arts. I earned the degree concentrating on painting. Immediately after graduating I fell in love with making books by hand. This has slowed somewhat and I have dabbled in glass bead making, and am currently itching to get back to painting (after the big studio remodel project). I’m not setting the art world on fire, but I am enjoying the creativity.

I am a DIY-er. I am always working on some creative project. I sew – clothing, things for the home, etc. I really love home decorating (and I seriously think I should have pursued this as a career). I like to revamp old furniture. I really want to learn to reupholster well. I hate painting walls but I’ll do it if necessary. I love to rearrange furniture. Or work with local people to create furniture. I’ll drive two hours in traffic to pick up the perfect, hard-to-find, basket for the new hutch in our front room. I love bargain hunting, and thrift store shopping for furniture. I like a lot of different styles.

I want to be a thrift store shopper for clothes but I am confessing here for the first time that it skeeves me out (in Portland this makes me a pariah).

I hate bike riding. I tried to like it. I do not. Don’t hassle me about it.

I have a lot to say about fashion for women in their 40s. The gist of it though, is that there are no good resources out there. I see a lot of articles that tell women in their 40s what they can no longer wear. These articles piss me off. Wear what makes you feel good. Wear that mini skirt every one tells you you can no longer wear if you’ve got the gams. Body types will dictate styles that work and styles that don’t. At the end of the day you only have to please yourself.

Some of the things I pay attention to.

Flat out one of the funniest and most enjoyable reads out there: http://thebloggess.com/

Also hilarious is Hanna Hart’s My-Drunk-Kitchen (mostly video so it will take time to load but so very worth it): http://hartoandco.com/my-drunk-kitchen/

If you’d like to check out my dream style for clothes, or set up your own sets: http://lyricalnomad.polyvore.com/

A spectacular design magazine: http://anthologymag.com/

A visual feast. Also, a reality check that street fashion can be fabulous and also flat out ridiculous. The lesson? Have fun with your personal style: http://www.thesartorialist.com/

From Cincinnati, a sassy woman with a down to earth fashion sense, a heap of talent in the creativity department, and a wonderful sense of humor and fun: http://thestylesample.com/

My wonderful partner in crime: http://paranoidmike.wordpress.com/

Absolutely worth a look: http://www.parallelexit.net/PE/Home.html

I don’t read this blog with any kind of regularity, however if you own, or have ever owned, a dog you will likely laugh your butt off when you read this article: http://www.tellingdad.com/2011/an-open-letter-to-our-dog/

I’m a sucker for British Homes & Gardens. The added bonus is when I leap to buying a print magazine (very rarely) I can’t buy anything because everything sourced is from the UK. Impulse control, People. Impulse control: http://www.homesandgardens.com/magazine/

Monster Zucchini

Everyone has a story about prolific zucchini. I must confess that it isn’t my favorite vegetable. I love to cook and have tons of creative recipes, but the whole thing leaves me feeling “meh” after eating it. So all season I have been bringing my zucchini in and giving it away to coworkers. I’ve also sent all my friends home with zucchini if they stop by the house. The thing about the variety I am growing is that if you happen to miss one, or don’t check for a few days, they grow to be these gigantic sizes. It’s a bit insane. The good news is that the variety I am growing doesn’t get stringy and seedy when it gets monster sized. You know, why the heck are there hunger problems in the world? This morning I picked the biggest one to date and it could surely feed a family of four. Or five. Or ten.

Apologies for the hideous photo. It was taken on the fly with my iPhone camera in a dark office with zero natural light. I’m new at this website thing!

Old Friends

Did you ever hear from an old friend and are just so glad?! I am not one to keep in touch with high school friends. I didn’t have any traumatic experiences in high school, but I definitely couldn’t wait to get out of there and just start a life that wasn’t dictated by geographical proximity. I kept in touch with two really good high school friends over the years. Then they both kind of dropped off the map. Then about 11 years ago one came back into the fold and just recently so did the second one. We were such good friends. I was her maid of honor at her wedding and she married a wonderful man. She now has two adorable daughters.

We have been trading emails back and forth catching up. The emails feel more like old school letter writing with us asking tons of questions about funny incidents we remember from being 16, asking about each other’s siblings, parents, pets. It is just so wonderful. She and her family were a part of some of my most precious memories from my youth and it is truly wonderful catching up. We are also talking about possibly getting together – husband/partner in tow – at her family camp up in Maine and I really hope we do it. I would love to see her, and be there and share that part of my life and that place with Mike.

So, sometimes, hearing from an old high school friend is a good thing and until just recently I would have been the last person to have said that.

I’m done now though. These two who are back in my life are enough! Quality over quantity.